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I got to thinking the other day about how many clients I have who express at our first meeting a strong desire to change their eating habits and their fitness regimens. Makes sense—they are coming in fed up with being overweight, lethargic, and unable to fit into their clothes. All it takes oftentimes, however,  is a brief mention of what it might involve from a behavioral perspective to receive a furrowed brow, a frown, and a concerned and somewhat dumbfounded, “Really?!” Luckily I am able to clean up their fear and insecurities about their abilities to accomplish their health goals with an explanation of how strong my support will be, as well as how this endeavor is not about immediate gratification, but long term success discovered within a blanket of patience. By asking them to think of their big successes in life and the effort it took for them to accomplish them, they are taken back to a place of confidence and the ability to see the possibilities of achievement. They walked through my door. A conscious decision was made at some point to make a change, or they wouldn’t be where they are, sitting across from me, asking for help and guidance. When they come to me they are motivated. Experiencing a feeling of being ready and willing to do something out of their comfort zones perhaps, they embark on a journey that they may not initially know the outcome of, but more sooner than later discover a potential within themselves that hasn’t been tapped in a while! After our first meeting some are off and running, never looking back, embracing and diving into every little tidbit of information and wisdom that I toss their way, excited about every new day. Others flounder a bit more, feel somewhat discouraged here and there, put themselves down when they make mistakes or when they see suggestions from me on areas to work on. And then there are those who may try for a few days, start questioning their desire to make changes, tell themselves that it’s impossible, and give up. So what makes the difference between those individuals who can make a decision to accomplish a new goal but just can’t seem to get the job done and those who take the bull by the horns, do whatever it takes, and exhibit such a strong drive and determination that nothing can get in their way?

I’ve been in both positions and in between at different points in my life. I have admittedly given up on some things, but not because I did not believe in my ability to accomplish them. The decision was made with much thought and a realistic focus on the specific task and whether it was truly important to me. I also made it a priority to get in touch with how the goal was going to make a difference in my life. Did I see incentive in engaging in the behaviors it would take to accomplish? Was the goal one that I could view as a challenge rather than a burden? Did the costs outweigh the benefits? Those goals that I let fall away did not hold weight in my eyes, so I did not throw myself into them fully. Looking at my achievements and the areas of my life currently that I, no matter what, will not give up on, I realize that there is one common thread among them. I am committed to them. Not just motivated. Committed.

What’s the difference, you ask. It’s interesting. Coming from the background I do, with a strong emphasis in my counseling training coming from the cognitive-behavioral theory of human thought and action, I never really thought about behavior except in terms of motivation until recently when I began looking at my own. My mom has always said to me when she hears what I’m doing at work, in my personal life, within relationships, and spiritually, “Kor, you’re so motivated. I don’t know how you take on so much at the same time without feeling overwhelmed. How do you do it?” Motivation occurs in stages. Those individuals who come through my doors seeking assistance with weight loss may be contemplating changing their current behaviors and wanting to learn more about what might need to happen in order to do so, or they may be in the preparation stage where they are determined to get started on their goal of increased longevity, more activity and a learner, healthier body. Regardless, what’s important to recognize is that motivation waxes and wanes. My client may have already lost 50 lbs of body fat, is exercising regularly, contacts me daily with questions to learn more about how he can structure his meals for the most effective fat burning potential as well as the greatest blood sugar control and go home dog-tired after a hellish day at work, think “I’d really like to just order a pizza for dinner”, then head into the kitchen to create a healthy burrito with his whole grain tortilla, chicken breast, low fat cheese, and veggies. He may get up the next morning after having had a pretty miserable fight with his wife and not feeling all that chipper. He slides into his running shoes and heads out the door for his daily jog. Motivated? Not exactly. He certainly wasn’t motivated to make his dinner the night before. And he wasn’t feeling energized when he woke up. He may have even thought, “I could skip my jog this morning….” But he didn’t. That is commitment.

Motivation is a mood, a feeling, and it’s fleeting. Commitment on the other hand is an action. It’s active. It’s not dictated by emotion or circumstances or situations. It. Just. Is. No matter what, I will eat in a manner that will facilitate a healthy weight. No matter what I will train my body and do cardio. I may be on vacation, and I will still work out. I may be on a business trip, and I will pack some food in order to be able to keep my energy and blood sugar levels optimal. No question. Whatever it takes.

As athletes and bodybuilders, you understand that this sport dictates a commitment that far surpasses motivation. We can be motivated when we attend a fitness conference. We may start to read more books or develop a new group training class for our clients. But will that desire last? Those who succeed in this sport and achieve the most are those who are committed to being their best ALL THE TIME. They capitalize on their strengths and work on changing their weaknesses. They recognize their faults but are not limited by them. They get up and do their cardio at 3:30 in the morning even though they got only a few hours of sleep. They take the time to recover when necessary, knowing and understanding what it is that they are getting from rest and that it’s all part of the grand plan to reach their goals. They are not slaves to their moods or emotions, waffling in the midst of a “bad day” or a negative circumstance. As bodybuilders we must eat not necessarily for enjoyment when we’re prepping for a contest, but more as a means to an end- to achieve the leanness that will win us that pro card or pro title. We will be fatigued, we may feel like tapping out, we may question how much longer we can diet, and yet we keep going until we are on that stage, under the lights, flexing not only our muscles but every fiber of our being. That is commitment.

One of my clients said it best and was actually my inspiration for writing this article: “Once I get this new job, get some normalcy back into my life and start getting back into working out hopefully things will get back on track.  I would really like to lose another 8-10 pounds but I just don't know if it will happen if I don't work harder.  I can say that now but doing it is another thing.  Like I knew that I should've worked out tonight but instead I just came home and played with my son.  My motivation has so much of a swing to it, one day I'm motivated, one day I'm not.  I really have to push myself some days.”

If you want to be committed, “hopefully” can no longer remain in your vocabulary. Hopefully means that outside influences, events, circumstances, and situations will govern what you will do. If you “do not know what will happen” you are not acting from a place of commitment. You may not know the outcome day to day—your weight may not drop, your lunch may get stolen from the office refrigerator—but when you are committed, you know that long term goal will be reached. If you are committed there are no “shoulds” anymore. There are “wills” and “cans” and “wants.” And if you are committed, you are not on again, off again. You ARE!

My mom was on to something when she asked me how I can do so many things simultaneously and do them well without getting overwhelmed. In her mind, if I were to feel overwhelmed I’d fall apart and lose a grasp on what’s left to do, not achieve like I have, or not be able to take on new goals. Perhaps when she feels overwhelmed, that’s what happens. The difference is that I’m committed. It’s not that I don’t feel overwhelmed at times; it’s that I take that feeling and turn it into something positive.  I whelm myself over with commitment for the goal I have in front of me.